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ashkirynI....don't really have a point with this. At least, not yet. It's just been something that's stewing in my brain, especially when noting the similarites between these three stories that I'm currently partaking in.
Anyway, now I need to get myself into a more Supernatural-focused mindset. Spoilers below the cut for all aired episodes of the show, obviously. This episode's story was by Ron Milbauer and Terri Hughes Burton, and the teleplay by Eric Kripke. (I really have no idea what a teleplay is, for the record.) (And for the former two, they've only worked on this episode and "Bloody Mary". Hmm.)
And I'm not even through the "Previously on Supernatural" before finding something that I want to comment on. This is so going to take me several hours to write this thing.
But anyway. The part that interested me, and that I don't think I really talked about last time, was Sam's comments regarding his mother. Specifically, "Even if we find the thing that killed her....Mom's gone. And she's not coming back." After which Dean slams him against the bridge and warning him to, "Don't talk about her like that."
I think most people can agree, at least intellectually, that Sam is actually right---revenge won't bring you any peace or happiness, and it certainly won't bring back the ones you've loved and lost. Therefore, why focus your energies on pursuing something that, really, will only hurt you in the end? Letting go, moving on with your life---this is actually the healthy option, what you should do.
And yet, by the end of the first episode, Sam's changed his tune, and as this episode will demonstrate, has essentially become John, and consumed by revenge.
I've said it before, and no doubt I'll be saying it again (hello, he's still kind of doing it in season 8). But the thing about Sam is that, while he's right, it actually comes out now as wrong, because what he's saying is coming from an inherently selfish place. As I'd say most people do, Sam thinks in terms of himself, his worldview---he ultimately places himself at the center of his own universe (which certainly wasn't helped at all by John, as he molded Sam into being the center of Dean's universe as well). And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it becomes one when you're kind of an insenstive idiot and forget to consider and think in terms that aren't yours.
I feel as if what I just said barely makes any sense. So, let me try again, here. Sam's right. But he's not saying all of that for the right reasons. He can say those things about Mary because he doesn't and can't mourn her in the same way that John and Dean can. It's not his fault, and I'm not saying that Sam doesn't grieve for her in his own way. But my point is that he can say those things about Mary before Jessica's death because she wasn't ever truly real to him in the way that Jessica was. He never had a mother that he could remember, and what he mourns is the empty space that he knows should be filled, but that never has, for him. (Again, this doesn't make his grief any less real. It's just different from John and Dean's.) And because Mary's death has never really been real to him, because he can't remember a life with her in it, those words about how she's "gone and never coming back" don't come from a place of acceptance, from a Sam that's healed. Indeed, we can see quite clearly over the seasons that Sam isn't any more healed from his mother's death than Dean is, and we'll see it in this episode when he lumps Mary in with the new wound of Jessica's death.
No. I think Dean gets angry with Sam for those words because, really, Sam was being flippant about their mother's death. That's how Sam crossed the line, and not because he stated the truth of Mary never being able to come back. Basically, Sam is still immature and quite self-centered in season 1. But the best thing about Sam is that, whenever he's a selfish twit, he at least can find it within himself to apologize, which is something that not many people can or would actually do, so he gets points for that.
So, last time, I made a discovery about the parallels between the monster of the week and our main characters. So let's see what we've got this week, eh? A wendigo---which was once a person who was starving to death, and turned cannibal to survive, and was twisted and warped into a grotesque being that's always hungry.
And it's interesting to me that there's really only one girl in this entire episode (unless if you count Sam's nightmare of Jess's zombie hand, which I'm not, really).
Okay, so I decided not to touch upon this last time, but I'm going to have to eventually, and might as well do it now, especially as I think it could really relate to this Monster of the Week.
One of the biggest things that most of the fandom has declared as a Problem of Supernatural is that no female characters are allowed to stick around for very long, and ultimately, the world that Sam and Dean live in is a hyper-masculine one. Therefore, Supernatural is sexist against women, or else have many problematic tendencies with the way they treat their female characters. And I won't deny that there's truth in that. Literally, the only long-standing recurring female character that we've had is the demon Meg, who was introduced in season 1 and was still alive as of season 7, though she hasn't been seen so far in season 8. There have been seasons between her appearances---but she's still been around. Oh, and there's Tessa, I suppose, but she's only shown up in three episodes, which is equal to the amount of times that Death himself has shown up.
Anyway, it's hard to argue that this show treats its female characters right, especially when three important female characters are killed off in the first episode alone---Mary, Jessica, and in a way, Constance Welch.
But personally, I like to subscribe to the school of thought that this show, in a backwards sort of way, is actually honoring and underlying the importance of femininity, because our main characters live in this hyper-masculine world in which the feminine is constantly and violently ripped away from them, and it shows that this lack of femininity is inherently damaging to everyone involved. Sam and Dean aren't better off for living in this totes masculine world that their father raised them in---indeed, look at how much John damaged them!----and they're certainly not better off without any women in their lives, and really, their lives suck harder without people like Jo, Ellen, Mary, Jessica, Lisa, Amelia, Charlie, and etc.
So, back to the Wendigo. It's starving for something that's inherent to its survival, that it can't go without, but that it doesn't have. Therefore, in order to survive, it turns and eats its community---in other words, it acts out violently in such a way that it ultimately undermines itself. Because by doing so, it warps into an inhuman monster, still hungry, and never able to satisfy and obtain what it so desparately longs for.
In essence, it's men---Sam and Dean showcased in particular---without women. It's a masculine world without the balance that the feminine would bring. People feed and thrive on emotion, but so often, societal forces dictate that men should abstain from such things, that emotion makes them weak. When actually, denying their need for emotional fulfillment turns them into an inhuman monster.
How does that tie in directly to the Winchesters? Well, it's like how Dean says it in season 5: the brothers' love for each other is what keeps them human. But living as they do without any femininity to balance out their hyper-masculine world, they're closer to being monsters than most people, and are in more danger of tipping those scales.
More directly with this episode itself, Sam is the Wendigo, denying his need for emotional intimacy, denying himself---thus starting the process of warping him---which is probably exactly what Azazel wants. And what basically happened to John, when Mary died.
Also, I give major props to Dean, who is gently prodding and reaching out to Sam in the only ways he knows how---like offering to let Sam drive the Impala. Bless his heart.
It also intrigues me that the Impala is so often referred to as a "she", in light of the fact that she's biggest and steadiest pillar of emotional comfort that the Winchesters have. Hmm.
I find it interesting that Dean bonds so much with Haley. Not so much in why he does so---no parents, and she has to look after her younger brothers? Determination to not just sit with her thumbs up her ass while she could be doing something to protect her brother? She and Dean are basically the same person. It's that she's a woman, and that doesn't stop him from recognizing and bonding with a kindred spirit. Basically, it's interesting that he bonds with such a motherly figure as kindred spirits, therefore making Dean as much of a Good Mommy as he is a Good Daddy. And I've always wondered if there's such a huge difference between the two. The Team Mom figures, for instance, seem to traditionally be the emotional support---but who says that the dad can't do that? And there's Dean Winchester, for the people who wonder why a person can't be both Team Mom and Team Dad---because that's what Dean does.
Man, I just get so impatient with Sam when he's being a butt. When he's being awesome, I LOVE him to death, but when he's....not? Ugh, I have so little patience and empathy for him.
Maybe that's because I'm a horrible person and can't help but compare him to Dean, and then I unfairly rage at Sam when he falls short. And to touch on Dean----he's had a far shittier time of it over these past 22 years (in my opinion), and yet he carries out the family business because he wants people to keep their family and loved ones, as he knows what it's like to experience that kind of tragedy, and he wants to keep it from happening to other people. Dean just....he has such a big heart, and not many people seem to acknowledge that fact, whether in canon or in the fandom. He gives and gives so much and keeps on giving, and he never expects or presumes that he'll get anything back, no matter how much he may want to, and he doesn't push or ask for it, even when he should. Basically, Dean doesn't do the things that he does because he thinks that it'll reap some kind of benefit or reward for himself---he doesn't even believe in Heaven, so he's not trying to be a good person so as to secure a spot for himself in Heavenly rest. He saves people and does what he does because it's the right thing to do, and because being a good, caring, loving person comes naturally to him.
No wonder, then, that he's the Righteous Man.
But why is it that I have far more empathy and sympathy for Dean rather than for Sam? Perhaps it's because I identify as an older sibling, even though I have two older half-siblings. Maybe it's because I tend to fall on the "suffer in silence" end of the spectrum, as Dean does. Or maybe it's that what I hate in Sam is something that I see in myself---tendencies towards a self-centered world-view. Which is something that I'd like to correct in myself, or at least find a way to balance it out.
Anyway, that'll be all for now.
