"Now that just killed the goat."

[ashkiryn]

That quote in the subject, by the way, is paraphrased from a completely different book series, but I think it accurately sums up my feelings for the moment. My Goat has just been killed.

Now, I've been reading The Two Towers, and I'm not quite done yet. Still two chapters to go, which I am NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO, because Frodo and Sam are now entering Shelob's Lair, which is ENDLESS NIGHTMARE FUEL for me, and so I'm kind of dragging a leetle bit in finishing. But anyway, that's just a heads up. This post is going to be talking about my proverbial dead goat (because obviously I don't have a real dead goat, come on now). History has been made for me.

Today marks the first time that I have ever cried while reading an LOTR book. Ever.



Like, okay, I love the movies to death, and I have cried at several scenes in the movies, no lie. Some of them are scenes that I pretty much always cry at. But never have I EVER cried while reading the actual goddamn book before. To commemorate this special event, and just so you all can understand the severity of what I just read, I'm going to quote the exchange between Frodo and Sam that literally made tears start streaming down my face. Also, I suppose you can consider this to be a preview to my eventual post about TTT as a whole.

So, as quoted from TTT, Book IV, Chapter 8: "The Stairs of Cirith Ungol", pgs 363-364 & 365 in my copy of the book:
~
[Sam is speaking] "Still, I wonder if we shall ever be put into songs or tales. We're in one, of course; but I mean: put into words, you know, told by the fireside, or read out of a great big book with red and black letters, years and years afterwards. And people will say: 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring!' And they'll say: 'Yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Frodo was very brave, wasn't he, dad?' 'Yes, my boy, the famousest of the hobbits, and that's saying a lot.'"
  "It's saying a lot too much," said Frodo, and he laughed, a long clear laugh from his heart. Such a sound had not been heard in those places since Sauron came to Middle-earth. To Sam suddenly it seemed as if all the stones were listening and the tall rocks leaning over them. But Frodo did not heed them; he laughed again. "Why, Sam," he said, "to hear you somehow makes me as merry as if the story was already written. But you've left out one of the chief characters: Samwise the stouthearted. 'I want to hear more about Sam, dad. Why didn't they put in more of his talk, dad? That's what I like, it makes me laugh. And Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam, would he, dad?'"
  "Now, Mr. Frodo," said Sam, "you shouldn't make fun. I was serious."
  "So was I," said Frodo, "and so I am."
...
'And so Gollum found them hours later, when he returned, crawling and creeping down the path out of the gloom ahead. Sam sat propped against the stone, his head dropping sideways and his breathing heavy. In his lap lay Frodo's head, drowned deep in sleep; upon his white forehead lay one of Sam's brown hands, and the other lay softly upon his master's breast. Peace was in both their faces.'
~

Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I JUST CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THIS OVERLOAD, DAMN IT. This killed my goat. The first tears I've ever shed over this fucking book killed it, tears caused by this fucking HEARTBREAKING scene, because in just a couple pages, Frodo is almost going to DIE, and there is SHELOB, and just fuck it all. Also, there went any desire for me to not ship Frodo and Sam in some way. I knew it was going to happen, but I haven't read this book in ten years, and so I wasn't expecting this scene to come up and basically bitch-slap me in the face. And kill my goat. A goat is dead. So, yeah. There it is.

And for the record, the song that plays during the scene with the above dialogue during the movie, called "Samwise the Brave", is my favorite song in the entirety of the LOTR soundtrack. Like...it's just so freaking gorgeous. And whenever I hear it, it instantly calms me down and makes me feel better, no matter what mood I'm in.

Anyway. In other news, Alexander the Great, my caterpillar, is now in his cocoon. I may make a journal post as practice for the essay I'm supposed to write about his development. I'm also currently having a bit of fun trying to figure out what ships I like in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and considering I've finally caught up with the show, I'll probably be posting about that sometime soon. Not sure if it'll be before or after my TTT post, considering I'm going to be finishing the book within the next couple of days.

Anywho, peace out! And don't die from the angsty fluff I've just bestowed upon all of you.