ashkiryn: (tamaki and kyouya)
[personal profile] ashkiryn
Man, I hate this episode so much. Like.

Really, Supernatural. Pitting the brothers against swarms of killer insects?

Really. I'm terrified and phobic enough of insects, thank you very much.

Also, land cursed by Native Americans?

Really, Supernatural? Really.

The insects are bad enough, but the plot of this episode is just so weak. And the sun does not come up that fast, I'm sorry to say, not to mention that it would have been so much smarter for everyone to fight their way into the car and drive away from the swarm of insects. I mean, they would have had plenty of time to get away, especially if they did without all the dramatic posing and staring at the oncoming swarm like a bunch of dumbfucks.

Ugh. This episode was written by Rachel Nave and Bill Coakley, who I notice didn't write another Supernatural episode after this one. Imagine that.


What breaks my heart about this episode (aside from Dean, duh), is that the boys are fighting, and are incapable of understanding each other's positions. Sam can't understand that Dean clings onto their father due to several traumas and as a coping mechanism, and he can't understand that because Sam, especially at the moment, is distressingly self-centered, and a self-righteous dummy, which is only amplified and made worse by the fact that Sam is an intelligent human being who notices things about other people and is right about things often, which makes it harder for our dear Sam to notice his own blinders. And obviously I feel for Dean more, because the reason he can't bring himself to understand Sam is because that would mean John fucked up, and Dean just can't bring himself to question that yet (or hardly ever), because it would mean that Dean would have to deal with said trauma that he represses the hell out of, and Dean's still not ready yet to face himself. Plus, being that it's Dean, I'll bet Sam's derisive comments about John ended up feeling like a blow against Dean's own ersatz parenting skills, because---well, I imagine that it would hurt, hearing that your attempts to even out the father figure in John weren't good enough to even be remembered. Because if there's one thing about Sam that irritates me like nothing else, it's his selective memory.

Because the kicker of it all is that Sam is constantly pulling that shit. Here in "Bugs" he doesn't remember that he gave as good as he got, that communication with your family is a two-way street. In "A Very Supernatural Christmas", all he can remember are the shit aspects, and conviently blocks out the good, and just....blech. That just annoys me so much.

Also, I think it says so fucking much that Dean is the one who knows how to deal with fathers like Larry and John, that Dean is the one who came up with the plausible lie and way out of the house with most of the family being none the wiser. And Sam, the reason John was never "hard" on Dean was because the fight was conditioned out of Dean at an age that you couldn't remember (when you were five). So basically GODDAMNIT, SAM, STFU ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. Stop being a passive-aggressive brat and taking things out on your brother because he's the nearest target, especially about things outside of his control, and maybe if you stopped INVALIDATING Dean's feelings and coping mechanisms, just maybe then you'd be able to have an adult, civil conversation with him about his emotions. I mean, Jesus Christ, no wonder Dean deflects the shit out of you.

Yes, I know that Sam doesn't mean or have any deliberate intentions to deride basically everything about Dean, that Sam means it as brotherly teasing, or he's just stupid and thoughtlessly careless about how his self-centeredness impacts people. But with people who have as dangerously low self-esteems as Dean does? Those comments cut RIDICULOUSLY DEEP. And it doesn't matter what kind of intentions Sam has---almost every other word out of his mouth batters and hurts Dean, to the point where sometimes I think Sam isn't any better than John, abusing-Dean-wise.

And fuck, but it sucks when I end up zeroing in on things like that, because I genuinely don't want to be angry with Sam. But apparently, he just can't help but test my patience sometimes.

And for the record, I'm not saying that Sam is necessarily wrong in anything that he says to Matt Pike, or to protest against John's less than stellar parenting style, or to want to go off to college and live his own life, because he is right about all of that, and saying that things will get better at college doesn't have to translate to ditching your family. It's just that I wish Sam would realize that he's speaking from a position of privilege that Dean never had, and that Sam has that privilege because of Dean and the sacrifices he's made for Sam. (And that Dean's belief that family has to stay together physically to be a family has only been further proven by you and your actions, Sam.)

Winchesters, man. So achingly headdesk-y. *sighs*




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